the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
