have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
