Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
