How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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