why didn't you poke me back
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
