2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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