the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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