Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
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