Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
