My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
