I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
