i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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