If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
you made out with another girl for some wings
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
