I will die if light touches me.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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