i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
