Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
