I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
