we have officially lost it.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
