Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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