I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
