So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Did we literally take a cab across the street
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Randomize
