Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
