Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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