I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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