But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
