you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
