Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
