Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
