She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
