He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
