so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
