I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
