I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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