dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
