Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
