i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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