So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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