My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
