I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
