just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
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