Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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