Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
