I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
