White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
