I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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