I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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