Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
