so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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