Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize