Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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