i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
