The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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