Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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