hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize