i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
