The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize