I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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