Soap is not a condiment
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
