did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
