Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
