Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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