Whod you bang
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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