the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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