His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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